


Enter Night

by brusselssproutsonly



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Adventure, Assassins & Hitmen, Canon Divergence - Star Wars Expanded Universe, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Force Bond (Star Wars), Han Solo Lives, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Jedi Luke Skywalker, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Not Canon Compliant, Plot, Protective Kylo Ren, Romance, Sith Empire, Slow Burn, Soft Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Survival
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:13:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23691406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brusselssproutsonly/pseuds/brusselssproutsonly
Summary: You are one of the most skilled assassins in the galaxy, but that's not the only reason why the First Order captured you one night. Your possession of a small metal prism, as well as an unknown knowledge of the force, makes you an undeniably strong asset--one that Supreme Leader Kylo Ren could never pass up.Joining the ranks of the First Order to train under the fearsome Ren, an opportunity to reveal the past comes to light. Thus starts your mission to uncover secrets about the Jedi, Sith, and yourself. Whether or not those secrets include falling in love with Kylo Ren himself is yet to be discovered.
Relationships: Ben Solo/Original Female Character(s), Ben Solo/Reader, Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Reader
Comments: 13
Kudos: 68





	1. Nixus

**Author's Note:**

> This is kind of long and plot-heavy, but I hope you like it! More to come...

**Fifteen Years Ago**

Blurs of black, gray, and brown rushed past you at a dizzying pace. A motor roared to life next to you as several men stood to inspect a ship engine.

Nar Shaddaa’s scrap market was the best in the Outer Rim, at least according to most smugglers and any engineer worth his gold. It was teeming with every aspect of life; you could spot at least twelve different species from where you stood. Call girls lazily leaned against the wall as they enticed wandering customers, and merchants loudly advertised their products against the din of conversation. The smell of oil and smoke saturated the air, but you were used to it by now. After all, you’d been on the planet for nearly a year.

Mersk was close by—you could tell by the distinct increase in the volume of a crowd just a few stalls down. He became your guardian of sorts after finding you on the street. You couldn’t remember your parents, as their memories were washed away with time and a good beating by Mersk every once and a while. You didn’t hate the man though, because he gave you food, shelter, and a job scavenging for trade goods. It wasn’t hard, either, and your age made it easy to navigate the busy streets.

Suddenly, the sight of a hooded man filled your field of vision. His mouth and nose were covered by a bandana, and dirt-covered nearly all of the rest of his face. He crouched down so that your faces were equal with one another. Your little heart began to beat exponentially faster. Dull green eyes studied your own before he pulled down the cloth.

“Do you like shiny things, kid?” His voice was surprisingly kind and gentle. It certainly did not match the crooked teeth that poked through his rough lips.

You nodded, of course, partly out of fear and partly out of curiosity. He looked down to grab your small hand in his big one, turning your palm over so that it faced up.

“Can you keep this safe, then?” He asked as he removed a small, metal prism shape from his pocket. Before you knew it, he pressed the object into the middle of your hand, folding your fingers to form a fist around it. You looked up at him, confused.

“I can’t use it, anyway.” He said it as though it explained everything. There was a moment of silence before he stood up, rising to his full height, but his eyes were still locked on you. “Do you want to come with me?”

Without a second to spare, he grabbed your arm and started hauling you away from the market. It was only then that you found your voice.

“No, stop!” You screamed, trying to break from his hold. Your protests only seemed to strengthen him. “Let go of me!” Again, he kept walking as though you were a feather in his grasp.

At this point, you were thrashing your legs and flailing your arms, screaming so loud that you were sure the whole planet heard you. The prism was still furiously clenched in your other hand, digging into the soft skin of your palm. Despite your efforts, people only spared you a passing glance. Could no one see what was happening?

Panic bubbled up in your chest at the thought of being stolen by this man, away from what seemed like a normal life with Mersk. Tears began to well in your eyes, clouding your vision. You were now far enough away from the scrap market that you could no longer hear the comforting noise of engines and smugglers.

As a last resort, you dug your heels into the soft, muddy ground. This slowed the man’s pace considerably, almost jerking him back to where you defiantly stood. He whipped around to look at you, his beady eyes boring into your skull. You choked down a sob as you saw his once soft face now twisted into an angry one. An unexpected burst of confidence suddenly shot through your body, sending electricity to your fingertips and toes.

“You will let me go.” You said, with all the energy you could muster, focused entirely on him.

The two of you stood unmoving for several moments before the man released you. He stood up and relaxed his stance.

“I will let you go.” He said, never looking away. You stood in shock, arm throbbing from his forcible hold and hand cramping from your undying grasp on the metal object. With that, he turned on his heel and disappeared into the crowds of the surrounding street.

You took a few deep breaths, trying to come to terms with what just happened. More than anything, though, you knew that you couldn’t tell Mersk. He would most likely punish you for letting yourself get taken in the first place.

Your heart was still beating rapidly as you unclenched your fist. The prism was sitting there, small and bright, the only trace of the man’s presence. The metal looked nicer and shinier than anything you had ever seen, and it was probably worth a fortune at the market. You shoved the shape to the bottom of your pocket. Now you really couldn’t tell Mersk.

\------------------

**Present Day**

Snow quietly accumulated on the dashboard of your ship. The movement of the fat white flakes pulled you from your daydream. You checked the digital clock in the cockpit—it was almost time.

You were on Nixus, a cold glacial planet, for a job. Mersk had told you about it this morning.

 _“I shouldn’t have to tell you how to do it. Just kill the man and come back here. Do what you always do.”_ Mersk spat in your face as he threw a loaded blaster your way.

That last part meant a little less every time he said it. You had grown accustomed to his constant belligerent attitude throughout the years.

Mersk knew when he picked you up off the streets of Nar Shaddaa when you were three that, years later, every man in the galaxy would be begging for your attention. When the boys on your own planet began to act that way, you knew it, too. Constant stares and whistles were always thrown your direction, but you always passed it off—too focused on a job or at least making it home alive. Despite this, Mersk made sure that you knew beauty was power. Of course, that, an extensive knowledge of weapons, and a mastery of hand-to-hand combat.

It became evident around the time you were five that scavenging on Nar Shaddaa was not the best use of your time. Instead, Mersk trained you to become a killer. It was at a time when the man began to collect an unusually high number of rivals and enemies, all of whom he could now take care of. You supposed it came with being in the trade business.

Of course, you detested it at first, but once Mersk explained to you that these were truly bad people, the act became addictive. Usually, the marks were terrorists, thieves, or murderers, and after a while, it was easier to think about all the lives you were saving because of the killing of one.

Silver knives, blasters, a staff, guns, arrows—whatever the tool, you could make anyone’s blood pool at your feet, and you were good at it.

At the age of nineteen, you were the most skilled assassin in the Outer Rim, and probably the galaxy. This fact never went to your head, as Mersk kept you as busy as he could. In fact, it seemed as though you were always training, or studying and executing your next target.

Despite the hundreds of confirmed kills on your record, you made sure that a piece of your sanity remained intact—an element of humanity—and decided to, above all, be kind to others. At least when you weren’t contracted to assassinate them. It was childish, but it was the only semblance of a moral that you were absolutely certain that you had. Sure, you were definitely a guarded person and very cautious when it came to talking to strangers, but it was the least you could do to make sure you didn’t turn cold-blooded.

Ironically, it seemed like that was exactly what you were doing at the moment. You could feel the biting cold even from the comfort of your ship, a reminder of the job at hand.

7:28, the clock read. Only two more minutes.

You took a deep breath and looked down at the sheet of paper in your hands. A picture of a man’s face was in the top left corner, and underneath was a name: Yusa Falk. Falk was a Ryn, a humanoid species that you hadn’t ever really seen a whole lot of on Nar Shaddaa. A shock of white hair graced the top of the man’s head as well as underneath his nose, making Falk look more like a grandpa than an extortionist.

Apparently, he tried to blackmail Mersk into giving him more weapon parts than what was originally agreed upon. _Well, Falk, this is what you get._

7:29.

You fumbled for your woven brown bag sitting in the copilot’s seat. As you had done so many times before, you reached for the small metal object that was tucked neatly into the side pocket.

A moment later, the prism sat in the center of your palm. You considered it carefully, briefly thinking about the man who tried to steal you that day all those years ago, as well as the strange power you felt when you asked him to let you go. It was one of the only memories of your childhood that stood intact, but how could you forget it, anyway?

Strange as it was, meditating with the shape had become a ritual before each job, sitting with it balanced perfectly in your hand. The mere presence of it soothed your racing mind.

One last sharp inhale followed by a long exhale.

7:30. The red digits blinked at you. It’s time to go.

You shoved the prism back down into your bag, subsequently tucking it beneath a counter in the small common area.

The pink satin two-piece outfit that you had on was extremely far from practical, but Falk was a partier, so you had to look the part. Fake dainty golden jewelry hung off your neck and ears, nicely accentuating the low neckline of the top. The hair that usually fell to frame your face was held back by two white pins, one above each ear.

Your target was going to be at the small bar that was housed in the smuggler’s base at exactly 7:30, no doubt already half drunk. Mersk said that Falk liked his women, and that was what you were going to be tonight. That is until you expertly drive the sharp end of a dagger in between his ribs. That wouldn’t happen for at least another couple hours, though, when he will be fully inebriated.

You smoothed out any wrinkles and threw on a light wool jacket. The cold would shock you dead without something to at least get you through the front door. With one last coat of lip gloss and a check to make sure the small knife was safely secured to your leg, right above the hem of your skirt, you slipped out into the freezing night.

Immediately, you wished that you had ten more layers, but that would get you nowhere tonight. Breathing slow and walking fast, you reached the edge of the small forest you had covertly parked your ship in. You craned your neck back, but couldn’t even see the mass of metal, although you couldn’t have been more than twenty steps from it.

Turning back, the bright lights of the base came into full view. _Wow, I didn’t know Nixus was that popular_. In front of you stood the outline of a formidable, looming building with hundreds of people pouring out of every door, drink or illegal good in hand. There were several long rows of docked ships to the right that backed up directly to the beginning of the tree line. Keep calm, keep steady, you thought to yourself at the sight of such an immense crowd.

You trudged onward, whipping off your jacket when you were within feet of the entrance, much to the dismay of every nerve in your body.

Like Mersk said, _“Do what you always do.”_


	2. Capture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another long one, but we're finally getting someplace!!!

The air inside the bar was stale but warm, filled with the inviting scent of alcohol. Relief washed over you as the goosebumps on your arms and legs disappeared. You hung your coat on a rack in the corner, far away from the reach of any potential thieves, and headed to the bar.

Already you could feel the gaze of more than a few men track your movement across the room, but kept a focus on the long wooden countertop.

Once there, you leaned over to the closest bartender. “One whiskey. Neat.” You flashed him a big smile and pushed a few coins his way.

He nodded and turned around to pour your drink. You didn’t like any of the mixed concoctions that you saw a lot of other people get, rather settling for the smoky burn that whiskey provided. It was simple and, well, neat.

With a casual glance around the room, you immediately spotted Yusa Falk. He was sitting in a booth on the right wall, covered in at least five different girls and already starting to slur his words. _This is going to be easier than I thought._ Falk’s white hair was strewn about his face as if he was caught in a tornado. His cheeks were ruddy and eyes were bleary. _When did he start drinking? This morning?_

You let out a little laugh at the thought of how quickly you could kill him. Maybe you should have another drink while you’re at it. The bartender lightly tapped your shoulder, making you turn back around to face the bar.

He placed a very full glass of amber liquid in front of you and grinned. “Are you alone tonight?”

You wrapped your fingers around the glass and looked up at the man; he was a Twi’lek with big, bushy eyebrows, his blue skin so dark that it looked almost black. He stood much taller than any other being of his species that you had ever seen. A sudden feeling of guilt began to pool in your chest as you stare into his wandering eyes. He looked almost…nice. _I don’t want to reject him that hard._

“Actually, no. I’m here to meet him.” You pointed a carefully manicured finger over your shoulder in reference to Falk. _To be one of his women_.

The bartender chuckled in disbelief, shaking his head. “Him? Sweetheart, do you even know him?”

“Yusa? Of course. He invited me here tonight. Well, I haven’t really met him yet, but I’ve heard he’s a nice man.” You batted your eyes innocently, hoping that the Twi’lek would just assume you’re another one of Falk’s naive girls.

“Well,” He paused, taking his time to look you up and down, “Nice girls like you don’t usually hang around guys like him.” A smirk played at his lips.

“What makes you think I’m so nice?” You downed the rest of the whiskey, innocence still splayed on your features. Why not have a little fun with the guy? _I don’t have to let him down yet._ That seemed to really do a number on the flirty bartender; he quickly leaned down so that his lips barely brushed against your ear.

“Do you want to show me how nice you are upstairs?” The words left his mouth barely louder than a whisper, once again reaffirming your great admiration for the opposite sex. _Okay, now I have to say no_.

You leaned away with an apologetic look. “Sorry, but I should really go meet Yusa.”

The man said nothing, only shrugged. He refilled your empty glass and pushed it toward you. It was obvious that he was disappointed, and you were a bit sorry for that, but there were other things that were more important right now. He turned his back to you and walked to the other end of the bar, pouring drinks as he went.

With newfound vigor, you grabbed the whiskey and started walking over to Yusa Falk. _It’s showtime._ You were no stranger to the act-like-a-drunk-girl-so-that-men-will-trust-me-and-I-can-kill-them game. You invented that game, and right now you were winning. Smushed in between Falk and another seriously drunk girl, things were moving quickly. As soon as you had walked over, the criminal was all over you—touching, kissing your neck, and drooling on the table. Despite his inability to process what was currently happening, you were as clear-headed as ever.

Alcohol never had much of a serious effect on you, at least not until you were on your fifth round, and you most definitely were nowhere near that number. Falk, on the other hand, must have passed that mark two hours ago. The man was getting more and more wasted, which truly did help your plan, but there was one issue: getting him alone. It was a mistake to let him trap you in the booth like this, but, then again, you were a very resourceful girl. If you could convince him to, as the bartender put it, let you show him how nice you were upstairs, then your dagger would have no trouble finding his heart. However, this was proving more difficult than you thought, as Falk seemed to be engaged in a very compelling conversation with the salt shaker in the middle of the table.

His hands were still roaming around your legs, never stopping for more than a second or two to smack as close to your butt as he could get. Mostly, he was just slapping your upper back, but you acknowledged the sentiment all the same. You lightly rolled your eyes. The whiskey had been drained from your glass for over ten minutes now. _Maybe if I get up to go for more drinks, I can make him follow me._ A sly smile replaced any disgust that may have been evident on your face.

“Yusa, baby? Let me out so I can get us another round.” You smiled, twirling a curl around your finger.

The crazy man didn’t hear you, though, still deeply connected to the salt shaker. It probably wouldn’t matter if you took off your clothes then and there—he was simply too drunk. _Damn it. If I had known he would get this plastered, I would have done it earlier._ You shoved his arm a little, trying to jolt him out of whatever strange mental state he was in at the moment. Nothing. Not even a glance in your direction. You sighed in frustration, turning to the other side in hopes that the inebriated woman would let you through. She also seemed to be too busy sucking face with another man, though.

You leaned back into the worn leather of the booth seat. Taking a deep breath, you looked up at the ceiling and lazily traced the cracks in the stucco with your eyes. You couldn’t go back to Mersk with no confirmed kill, so maybe this was a matter of waiting it out. _He’d have to leave at some point to take a piss or get more drinks, right?_

\----------

Wrong. You were so wrong. Never has it taken so long for you to simply kill someone. Craning your neck to try and look at the clock, you caught sight of the time. _It’s 11:43 already?!_ This was getting ridiculous, really.

Falk had moved from the salt shaker to a dead insect in his hand. Nothing was working, not even slipping underneath the table. With every passing minute, fewer and people remained in the bar. If you took him upstairs now, people would remember you. It looked like you had to wait until the morning to deal with this.

Just when you were about to push Falk out of the way, you heard a loud commotion outside. Looking around, it seemed like everyone else heard it too. Several customers stumbled through the doors to get a better look at what was happening, but, no, you remained trapped in between a drunk and a very heated make-out session. All you could recognize were blaster shots and yelling. _It’s probably just a fight._

As if to answer your thoughts, the double doors flew open, and a whole squadron of stormtroopers in stark white armor filled the empty space. Blasters raised, they fanned out to interrogate each partygoer. This was not an ideal situation, since, rumor had it, the First Order was looking to exterminate threats like assassins. Threats like _you_.

The troopers were still relatively far from you, as you were situated near the back of the bar, but it would only be a matter of time before they recognized exactly who you were. You began to panic now that you knew there was practically no way to escape. As bile rose in your throat and your heart went crazy, Falk unexpectedly did the exact opposite and snapped out of his stupor. He must have come to the realization that the stormtroopers were after him and, in the blink of an eye, bolted out of the booth and across the floor, intending to run directly up the stairs.

The man only made it halfway there, as he was tackled to the ground by three troopers before he knew what was happening. _This is your chance._ The soldiers near you were all preoccupied with a drunk Falk, leaving a path to the doors unguarded. Quietly and quickly you rose from your seat and slinked out the exit.

 _Shit._ The outside temperature somehow dropped even lower than it was when you arrived, and the wind blew harshly as if it was trying to sweep everything off the surface of the planet. Your body shrunk into itself in an attempt to keep any warmth at all. Eyes watering and extremities numb, it took every ounce of strength to stop yourself from turning back inside. _That would certainly get me killed faster than the cold._

Now that you were outside the bar, you could tell why there had been so much shouting earlier; at least ten bodies lay unmoving, making almost a trail to the First Order ship to your left where all the stormtroopers must have come from. You swallowed hard. _I have to get out of here._ The lights from the large vessel were blinding, but they were the only thing guiding you back to your own ship.

You wrapped your arms around yourself, leaning forward into the wind, walking back into the forest. Once you were in the trees, it became so dark that you could barely see five feet in front of you, but at least the wind was far less intense. The ship had to only be fifty yards in, but it felt like you had already walked that far. _Am I lost?_

“Not anymore.” A deep, modulated voice said from behind you. You spun around on your heel, pulling the dagger from its place on your leg as fast as lightning. The source of the answer was a dark figure dressed all in black standing a few trees away from you. He wore a smooth helmet that lined his eyes—at least you assumed that’s where his eyes were—with silver. Fear started to crawl into your chest, making the hand that was holding your knife shake all the more. Black armor, black pants, black boots, black gloves, and a black cowl made the man seem more like an abyss than a person. _Who is he?_

“G-g-ge-get away fr-from me.” You yelled as best you could, but the cold was already starting to freeze your lips. All you were aware of at that moment was the man and the blistering cold. Your heart continued to hammer on in your chest, and you were convinced that he could probably hear it even through the wind.

“Where is it?” He asked, voice crackling like the branches above you.

“Wh-what are you t-talking abo-ab-about?” It was embarrassing how much you were struggling to speak to the figure normally. He didn't appear to have a weapon, though. I _could probably still take him out if I got close enough_.

“No, I assure you that you could not. I’m talking about the prism.” He said it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world—as though you were not standing in front of him in a silk two-piece with a dagger in your hand.

“How d-did you—”

“I don’t have time for your pointless questions.” With that, a sharp pain exploded in the middle of your forehead. It radiated back to the base of your neck, bringing with it the sensation that your brain was on fire. The pain was so intense that you let the knife drop to the snowy ground as your hands flew up to your head. You shut your eyes tight and held back a scream.

This was unlike anything you had ever experienced in your whole life. Pictures and memories flashed in the forefront of your mind—from yesterday, last year, all the way back to that day on Nar Shaddaa with the man and the prism. That moment hovered longer than the rest. After a minute, your grasp on the world was slowly coming back into focus. You breathed heavily, blinking back tears. The dark man stood still, his hand outstretched toward you. Before you could bend down to grab the weapon, everything went black. 


	3. Hope for Today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have a little talk with the Supreme Leader and he tells you something that you never knew. Welcome to your new life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue-heavy, but we're about to get rollin...

The first thing you noticed was warmth, well, at least a higher temperature than on Nixus, but drastically better nonetheless. And then you realized something else: you definitely weren’t on Nixus. 

Before you even opened your eyes, you had a pretty good guess of where exactly that someplace was. Piecing together what you remembered after leaving the bar—stormtroopers, wind, trees, that tall man—it made far more sense now. _The First Order._ The hard metal against your back and thick cuffs of the same material that tightly bound your wrists and ankles only confirmed your suspicion. A dull ache throbbed inside your skull as a friendly reminder of the mental trauma you experienced courtesy of the dark menacing figure. 

For all you knew, the First Order was probably going to chop you into little pieces and cast your remains out the window. No, they were most likely going to torture you slowly until you tell them about every little thing you’ve done. Either way, it was time to woman up and get it over with.

Slowly, you peeled open your eyes. The room you were in was small, but spacious enough to hold you, the uncomfortable metal table, and a small cabinet in the corner. There was a door to the right of you, prompting you to sit up to get a better view, but the restraints held you firmly in place. Looking down, you noticed that someone had put a new set of clothes on you, replacing the freezing satin outfit. A long-sleeved black shirt and baggy brown pants now hung off your small frame. _At least I’ll die with a little more dignity_. 

You relaxed your body against the table in an attempt to stop the cuffs from drawing blood. _How long am I going to have to wait? How long had I already been in here? A few hours? A day?_

Thoughts of what you assumed was last night on Nixus came to mind. That terrorizing man seemed to blend into the darkness around him; you could barely recognize his outline before you passed out. How could he make you feel so much pain? How did he manage to infiltrate your mind like a hot knife through butter? 

Mersk was probably expecting you back by now. You released a small sigh, staring up at the ceiling, which reflected the same dull shine as the rest of the room. _The First Order sure does like cold metal_. 

Just then, you heard a movement from behind the table. The sound of heavy footsteps reverberated around the space, coming around to your right. A figure came into view.

It was the same black-clothed man from the forest, and he turned to you, looking straight into your eyes. The same one that reached into your brain. The same one that captured you and brought you here. Immediately, you froze, not out of fear, but from shock. _Supreme Leader Kylo Ren._

The leader of the First Order loomed over you, cocking his head to one side as if he was a predator considering a meal. He moved to stand directly in front of you, never breaking his gaze. Of course, stories of his temperament and power with the force were famous in the Outer Rim. Nar Shaddaa was familiar with Ren, seeing as the whole planet was filled with criminals. As you grew up there, you had developed a sort of respect for him in an odd way, like admiring another artist’s work. That work may have been murder and galactic terrorism, but there was still a sense of honor in his devotion to the cause. 

“Where am I?” You ventured cautiously, not wanting to test said unpredictable temper. With his helmet on, it was impossible for Kylo Ren to betray an inch of emotion. Instead, you settled for looking into the silver visor, waiting for a response.

“The _Supremacy_.” He said finally. All you knew was that it was the Order’s flagship where most of the big stuff happened. Mersk would often say that it was the only ship that could outsmart him. _Funny how I’m going to die on it_. 

“No, you won’t.” Ren answered your thought. It had only just occurred to you that the man could read your mind, just as he had in the forest. He was the most powerful force user in the galaxy after all. You were so focused on keeping your mind clear that you almost forgot what he just said. 

“What? Why not?” You asked rather quietly, still in awe of the man’s presence. Ren took a few steps away from you as if debating whether or not to change his mind. “I mean, I’m so grateful, but I don’t really know anything about, well…anything.” You shut your mouth quickly to stop rambling. _This is so embarrassing_.

Then you heard something totally unexpected: a small laugh from the mouth of the Supreme Leader. “You’re eager to please, aren’t you?”

“Well, I mean, I-I—”

“I would expect nothing less from someone like you.” Ren clasped his hands behind his back but kept as still as ever. It was unnerving, really, but your big mouth got ahead of you again.

“That’s really nice of you, sir, but I promise I don’t know any valuable information.” 

“Oh, but you do.” His deep, modulated voice made the hairs on your arms stand on end. The man then proceeded to reach a gloved hand into his pocket, pulling out a small prism. _Your_ prism. “We found this on your ship.” He balanced it in the palm of his hand, just as you had done so many times before. “Where did you find it?” Ren asked, looking from the object to your eyes. 

“I think you already know that, sir.” You replied, your voice a whisper. He had to know if he saw that day when you were a child in your head. Suddenly, he clenched it in his fist; he was angry now. 

“Do you think I would be asking you that if I already knew the answer?” Ren shouted. The pain in your head came back stronger, causing you to pull against your restraints, tears welling in your eyes. 

“I—” This time, no memories flashed before you. There was only pain. You tried to speak again. “H-He gave it t-to me” And as soon as it had begun, it was gone. You breathed heavily, slumping down on the table.

Ren walked closer to you, bending down so that your faces were almost touching. Through what you assumed were gritted teeth, he said, “The man gave it to you. Who was he?” 

“I don’t know, really. He just tried to grab me.” Annoyed once again, he stood up. He relaxed his grip on the prism to inspect it more closely, lightly touching his thumb to it. 

“Ah, yes.” His voice was almost gentle now, a complete volte-face from a mere minute ago. Ren turned his helmeted head to face yours. “How long have you known?” You were getting tired of his cryptic questions, as though he just expected you to know the secrets of the universe. 

“Known what…sir?” You silently cursed yourself for feeling so afraid.

“About the force.” He said nonchalantly.

“Me? The force?” It seemed like a practical joke. Sure, you had always dreamed of being able to do mind tricks like making things levitate, but it was far-fetched, even for you. 

“I believe that I’m the one asking the questions here.” You were sure that his silver visor was going to shoot lasers any second now. 

“Respectfully, I don’t know anything about the force.” You squirmed underneath his gaze. 

“Have you ever wondered how you’ve been able to…execute so many of your targets successfully? When that man gave you the prism, how did you make him let you go?” Ren questioned. You were growing more confused. “Did you really think that it was a coincidence?”

He took your silence as an affirmative, glancing at the prism and then back at you. “You don’t know what this is?” 

You shook your head. _Of course I don’t_. Ren seemed exasperated.

“This is a door.” He held the shape in between two fingers. “And you are the key. The only thing that has been keeping you alive all these years is the force. Usually, you learn about your abilities as a child, but someone obviously didn’t want you to do so. This prism keeps the force inside you dormant, but not dead. That’s why you never miss a target or lose a fight. That’s also why you will be training with me, starting tomorrow.” 

You wanted to pinch yourself to make sure that this was all real. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren just told you that not only were you force sensitive, but there was someone in the galaxy that wanted to keep you from using it. All you could do was lay there, jaw slack and eyes wide. 

“I’ll have someone escort you to your quarters.” With that, he turned and walked out the door.

\-------------

It had only been a few minutes since your conversation with Ren and already you were adjusting to the _Supremacy_. Shiny black floors and metal hallways twisted and turned, splintering off into a million different directions. _I am so going to get lost here_. The stormtroopers walking beside you were quiet. _I might as well make friends while I’m here_.

“So, do you guys like it here?” You turned your head left and right to look at the soldiers in white. 

“We’ll be at your quarters soon.” The one on your right answered. _Well, so much for that._

One elevator ride and a couple turns later, the three of you arrived at a blast door with a scanner next to it. A plaque above the box on the wall read “9992.” 

“Here you go. The Supreme Leader instructed us to tell you that there is a datapad with all of the information you may require on it.” One of them said. “This scanner can only be accessed by your handprint.” He gestured to it, inviting you to try it out. 

Hesitantly, you pressed your hand against the cool screen and a green light flashed at the top. _How did they get my handprint?_ The door slid open to reveal a small kitchen, bedroom, and refresher. The First Order knew how to take care of their own. _Is that what I am now? One of them?_ You turned back to the stormtroopers. 

“Thank you so much. I hope I’ll see you around.” You gave them both a big smile, hoping they were doing the same underneath their helmets. 

“No problem, ma’am.” They left you alone to explore your room. 

You had never had so much room to yourself on Nar Shaddaa, besides your ship at least. _Nar Shaddaa. Mersk._ In the whirlwind of emotions you just experienced, you didn’t have time to think about the life you were leaving behind. You weren’t close with anyone on that planet, especially not Mersk, but there was a part of you that felt guilty for leaving your home. However, if you trusted the decision of the Supreme Leader of the First Order, which you obviously did, there would be nothing to lose. _I guess he could always throw me out the window another time_. Not today, though. Today you had hope—something that you haven’t truly had in many years.


	4. Why Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You run into General Hux and take a test.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow beginning, ya'll...

After taking a much-needed shower, you pulled your hair into a braid and decided to look through the kitchen cabinets. You were absolutely starving, remembering that you hadn’t eaten since before you left for Nixus. In the small refrigerator, there was a box of plastic packets that advertised a colorful drink on the front. You frowned, picking one of the packets up. It was labeled “nutrient drink.” _Of course, they didn’t give me real food_. _What, are they afraid that I’m going to eat it all or something?_ Another pang of hunger rose from your stomach. It was either this or braving the dining hall. 

A few minutes later, you had a lumpy gray glass of breakfast. Holding your nose, you downed the drink in a couple swallows. It left your throat burning much like the whiskey in the bar on Nixus. _I never did get to kill Yusa Falk, did I?_ At least the man was also in the First Order’s custody, not roaming the Outer Rim in search of another shady business deal. 

You placed the cup in the sink and walked through the door to your new bedroom. The bed big enough for two was done up with a gray blanket and black pillows, keeping with the whole theme of the ship, of course. There was a small cabinet that had a lamp, clock, and your data pad on it. Spotting the last item, you got excited. You never had the chance to play with technology, so this was new territory. The small rectangular screen lit up from the light tap of your fingers, showing the main menu. You had access to star maps, messages, profiles, and so much more. An idea popped in your head.

You clicked on the box that said “Profiles.” Slowly, you typed in the name “Yusa Falk.” In the blink of an eye, Falk’s picture appeared on the screen. It was the same one you looked at before heading into the bar; underneath that, it listed several details about the man such as his home planet and known crimes. In big red letters next to the status, it read “acquired.” You smirked. Although you were a bit frustrated that Ren cut your mission short, you were certain that if you couldn’t kill him, the First Order definitely would. 

Backing out to the menu, you noticed a schedule feature. The only things listed under each day were two training events, and each session was two hours long. _Great_. You trained every chance you got back on Nar Shaddaa, but never did you do it with Kylo Ren. Just thinking about his name sent a chill down your back, but you were more nervous about making a mistake in front of him than the challenges he would probably put you up against. You were confident in your abilities, besides, didn’t you have the force on your side?

Remembering what Ren said about the force keeping you alive made a thousand questions form in your head. You were still pretty unsure what exactly the thing was. You didn’t feel it, or at least didn’t know it yet, but a surge of confidence filled your chest. Setting down the data pad, you looked at the clock, which was a small digital stand.Maybe you could make it move like the way you’ve heard the Jedi and Sith can. You stretched out your hand and felt for…something, anything. It remained still on the counter, though; the only thing that changed was the time. The numbers 9:37 jumped out at you. 

If you were going to impress Ren tomorrow, sleep was necessary. Your eyelids suddenly felt very heavy from the events of the past twenty-four hours, so you pulled back the soft blanket and slipped into bed. The soft pillow and mattress lulled you to sleep almost instantly. _I could get used to this._

————————

A shrill beeping noise rudely interrupted your peaceful slumber. You woke with a jolt and slapped the clock to stop the annoying sound. It must have been synced to your schedule because the time read 6:00, which was exactly one hour before your training session started. With a groan, you pulled back the covers and gingerly placed a foot on the ground. The slick black floor was freezing. _Is anything here actually warm?_

You eventually pulled yourself into the refresher to wash your face and brush your teeth. If you thought about it, the First Order was being very generous to set you up in a place like this. After all, they barely knew you; just last night you were held in an interrogation room. Pleasantries aside, you pulled your hair out of the braid and let it fall down in waves. If you weren’t currently working for a galactic space force, you would leave it the way it is, but Kylo Ren would probably throw a fit if he saw anything other than the uniform standard. Thus, you swept your hair into a tight bun and tucked any flyaways behind your ear. 

Next, you walked back into the bedroom to open the cabinet. Neatly stacked piles of clothes were folded on each shelf, all in the muted tones of black, gray, brown, and the occasional white tank top. You opted for a comfortable fitted black top and leggings of the same color. _Maybe if I wear his favorite color, Ren will think better of me_. Shaking your head, you laughed at the thought. He’d never care about that kind of thing. 

A pair of combat boots lay waiting at the door and you put them on as the contents of another nutrient smoothie packet finished blending. Once you were done with your breakfast, you realized that you had an entire thirty minutes to spare. Sitting alone in your quarters seemed like a waste of that time, so you grabbed your data pad and left the room. 

The map of the ship that you found on your device stretched on for eternity. You weren’t even out of your room for more than two seconds, but you were already lost. All of the doors looked the same, and besides a stray pack of stormtroopers, the hallways were empty. Furrowing your brows in concentration, you continued to look for the elevator. Suddenly, you bumped into someone. Your head whipped up to apologize to the poor stranger.

“I’m so sorry. I was just trying to find my way around.” You said quickly, looking up to a man not much taller than yourself with ginger hair and piercing green eyes. He backed up several steps and brushed imaginary dust off his collar, staring you up and down.

“You’d be prudent to watch where you’re going in this ship.” He said flatly. The man looked high in the chain of command, judging by his uniform. _Why do I have to make a bad impression on every highly ranked official?_

He must have seen how perplexed you were because he quickly changed his tone. “May I ask who you are?”

“I’m, uh…” You trailed off. Most people just called you “girl,” as Mersk did. You never knew anything different your entire life, so you stood speechless in front of the man. Before the silence became unbearable, he spoke again.

“Oh, you’re Ren’s new girl, aren’t you?” He arched an eyebrow, a smirk playing at his lips.

You nodded. “Yes, sir.” He seemed to be a figure that commanded respect.

He smiled at that. Extending a hand out to you, he said, “My name is General Hux. If you have any questions, please direct them my way. We’re very pleased to have you join the ranks of the First Order.”

You shook it and smiled. “It’s very nice to meet you, sir. I’m…well, I suppose I don’t have a common name.” A pang of sadness hit you in your chest. No one even bothered to pick out a nickname for you. 

It was Hux’s turn to look perplexed now. He turned to the data pad in his hand and tapped a few buttons. “It says here that your assigned name is LZ-9992. Why don’t you discuss that with Ren?” As he said the Supreme Leader’s name, his face darkened. Not wanting to exacerbate that tension by any means, you quickly changed the subject. 

“Thank you, General Hux, sir. I was also wondering if you could help me find the training center.” You made sure that your voice was dripping with vulnerability and innocence. Already you could tell that Hux functioned his best when he had power over others. _What better way to get to know your boss than to let him think he’s getting to know you?_ He was also a man, of course, so it only made it that much easier. _“_ Only if you have time, though.” You added, sweetly. 

Hux smiled deviously, looking you up and down. He apparently liked what he saw because he replied, “It would be my pleasure. We wouldn’t want Ren throwing a tantrum on your first day, now would we?”

His comment reminded you that you were soon going to be training with the most powerful and unpredictable man in the galaxy. _Jeez, no pressure or anything_. You turned as General Hux led you to the elevator and down several floors. The doors slid open to reveal a much larger hallway that was filled with far more officers. 

“Unfortunately, I have to leave you here.” He gestured to the data pad with an apologetic face. “The entrance is down there and to your left.” 

You smiled and thanked him once again for his kindness. Turning in the direction that Hux said, a newfound determination strengthened inside of you. This was your territory, so to speak; weapons and fighting were your fortè. _Hopefully, Kylo Ren can see that_. 

Once you entered the training center, your jaw dropped to the floor. It was massive; a floor to ceiling room with an indoor track, hundreds of weights and machines, and a shooting range. Squadrons of stormtroopers were training while their commanders watched and groups of officers fired guns and did bench presses. 

A woman appeared out of nowhere and stepped in front of you. “Hello, LZ-9992. I’m Lieutenant Kim.” The two of you shook hands.

“Hello.” You managed to reply, trying to make your voice sound like this place wasn’t the most amazing thing you’d ever seen. Lieutenant Kim was one of the first women you’d seen onboard the _Supremacy_ , so the sight of her was strangely comforting.

“I’ll be conducting your training test today.” She explained.

“Oh, I thought that I’d be meeting with Supreme Leader Ren today.” You were confused. Isn’t that what training meant on your schedule?

“No. The Supreme Leader requested that we put you through a physical test before any formal training starts.” Lieutenant Kim explained. _A test?_ Ren already knew about your work before he brought you here, so what did you have to prove? You couldn’t say no to the Supreme Leader, though.

“Great, where do we begin?”

————————-

That woman was not messing around. She had already made you do three circuits comprised of various ab, leg, and arm exercises. You were crushing them, of course, but fatigue was setting in. 

“…47, 48, 49, 50. Great, you can stop now.” She called, typing something out on the data pad in her hands. You rolled out of the push-up position you had been holding and stood up. The officer had brought you to a private training room in the back, but the space was still huge. 

“What’s next?” You silently hoped that it had something to do with a weapon so that you could totally knock it out of the park. A bead of sweat rolled down your forehead, and you brushed at it with your arm. 

“Hold on, let me check. Next is a…” Lieutenant Kim took a long pause, clicking repeatedly on something. “A shooting drill.” _Yes, yes, yes, yes!_

You were really good at shooting, even if it did have something to do with the force as Ren said. The two of you walked over to the range where the woman briefly explained the parameters.

Blaster in hand, you placed both feet shoulder-width apart in the middle of the corral. You stretched out your arms and took a deep breath. Ten bursts of laser fell perfectly in the middle of the target made of tin. You turned to face Lieutenant Kim, who looked very surprised.

“That was impressive, LZ-9992.” She returned back to her data pad, no doubt writing glowing praise about you. Riding on the high of success, your chest swelled with pride and you smiled as you put the blaster away. You were definitely in your element.

However, that confidence vanished after Lieutenant Kim made you run different lengths of the track to get base distance times. By the time you finished the final mile sprint, you were ready to collapse. Usually killing people didn’t require much running unless someone saw you do it, so this was unfamiliar to you. _It had to be running, didn’t it?_ The officer gave you a sympathetic smile once you stopped, again writing something on her datapad. It was almost pathetic how out of breath you were, hand on your knees and sweat dripping down your back. In place of the courage you had only sensed a few minutes ago, came dread.

It emanated from a place deep inside your heart and brain, radiating out to the ends of your fingers and toes. If it could, your breathing became faster and more labored. It felt like someone twisted your stomach into knots and then lit it on fire. You could tell Lieutenant Kim was about to ask if you were alright when, all of a sudden, your vision disappeared. Well, not completely, you just didn’t see the training center anymore. 

The sound of clanging barbells and shooting blasters was replaced by total silence. Bright light panels ran from ground to ceiling in a narrow room, and in front of you stood Kylo Ren with his hand outstretched. He was facing the right wall and you noticed he was holding something: the prism. In that moment, you were too drawn toward the energy that the prism was emitting to focus on the fact that you were probably in a weird hallucination. Your ears rang and blood boiled. Ren’s helmet turned to look at you, and then you were back in the training center.

Lieutenant Kim was kneeling on the ground in front of you, shaking your shoulders. You looked around wildly, now drained from the feeling that had just overwhelmed you. “LZ, are you okay?” Her face was twisted in concern.

“I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine.” You repeated the phrase more to comfort yourself than the woman and rose to your feet. Although the discomfort in your body was gone, the energy still buzzed in your head. 

“Well, why don’t you go back to your quarters to rest? You completed the test, anyway.” She waved her hand, seeing the apprehension in your eyes.

“Thank you, ma’am.” You were too wired to say much else. As you crossed the floor back to the entrance, you noticed that a familiar dark figure obscured the doorway. The Supreme Leader stood, arms at his side, observing you. The cowl that was drawn over his head sent a shiver down your spine. No one else seemed to notice his frightening presence, so you kept walking his way as fast as you could. 

You stopped at a respectful distance and opened your mouth to apologize for somehow apparently intruding his space, but he beat you to it. “Did you feel it, just then, in my quarters?” He rumbled. _So those were his quarters._ You were almost too terrified of both him and the prism to form a coherent sentence, but the adrenaline coursing through your system took care of it. 

“Yes, sir. I don’t know what that was. I apologize.” Your voice was surprisingly unwavering.

He ignored your sentiment. “You are much stronger than I originally thought.” A beat. “Training starts tomorrow.” Ren started to leave.

“Wait. What just happened to me? How was I able to see you in your quarters?” You were unable to contain your questions anymore. “Why did you bring me from Nixus? Why me?”

The hallway was empty now, and your words echoed onto the steel ship. The man didn’t move. “I felt your shape in the force from across the galaxy. It was the strongest signal I’ve felt since…” He trailed off. “If I didn’t find you, then the resistance would.” Ren finally looked at you. “You have much to learn.”


	5. Strength

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You begin training with Kylo Ren and learn about your first mission with the First Order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been suuuuuuper slow moving so far, but this chapter is a little spicier. :)

“Stop flailing your arms like that. An enemy would have killed you by now.” Kylo Ren had you in a death grip on the chilly cement floor of a training room. The two of you had been sparring for over an hour now, and the man had been able to take you down every single time. Groaning in frustration, you began to kick back into him, attempting to use the momentum to break free from his grasp. “That’s not going to work, either.” The sharp edge of his helmet dug into the top of your head. All you wanted to do right now was tear it off and give him a proper punch right to the nose if he had one at all. In the blink of an eye, he pushed you forward, sending your body careening toward the floor. You landed with a sharp smack, tendrils of pain shooting through your left shoulder.

The Supreme Leader circled you slowly. “With all due respect,” you pushed yourself onto your hands and knees, “how is this helping?”

He chuckled again, which was something he had been doing a lot of in the past thirty minutes as he watched you get back up again over and over. “You are skilled, LZ-9992, but only in comparison to lowly half-wits in the Outer Rim.” That comment elicited a frown on your face. 

Dodging his remark, you stood up and squared your stance. “Sir, yesterday I ran into General Hux.” Ren stopped walking immediately. “Um, he said that maybe I should ask you about my name.”

“What about it?” He spat, anger clear in his tone.

“That I could find another one.” You ventured.

“You are not satisfied with your Order-issued name?” Ren said it more like a statement than a question.

“Well, no. It’s just that no one has ever called me anything but ‘girl.’” You looked down at your feet to avoid his stare. 

“I suppose it is customary for force-users to have a name.” He mused. The term “force-user” still felt foreign to your ears. It seemed impossible to associate with something you didn’t understand. “Once you have decided on one, make it known.”

You smiled. It was a small victory, but one nonetheless. 

“Tell me about the prism.” Ren tilted his head questioningly. Your happy mood instantly vanished. 

“I already told you. I don’t know anything about it.” You must have told him this a million times.

“No, tell me how it made you feel when you appeared in my quarters.” A blush crept onto your face at the mention of being in his private room yesterday, even if it was only a vision. You shook your head to clear the thought.

“I felt sick, as though something was burning my brain. Then, instead of the training room, I saw you holding the prism. It was like an energy was being radiated by it and I felt…consumed.” You grimaced as you remembered the event.

“Interesting.” He continued to walk in a circle around you. “What once was limiting your abilities is now provoking them.” Silence filled the room, and you couldn’t help but fixate on Ren’s helmet. _What is under there? He must get really hot when he trains._ He stopped in his tracks again. “I would be prudent to tell you to keep your thoughts down.”

“Sir? My thoughts? I know that I don’t know a lot about the force, but can’t you choose whether to listen or not?” You may be overstepping, but you didn’t care. 

“Yes, I can, but not with you.” His head moved slightly up and down to consider your body. “I cannot seem to tune _your_ thoughts out. That is how I was able to find you on Nixus—your complaints about that drunk were so loud.” You could’ve sworn he was rolling his eyes underneath that bucket on his face. _I wonder what his eyes look like_. “Again, LZ, control them.”

“I’m sorry, sir, but it’s hard to just turn my brain off, and you can’t blame me for wondering.” You took a daring step toward him, and that’s when you realized something: he wouldn’t kill you for doing so. Not when you were worth something—an asset to the Order. “It’s difficult to learn the ways of the force from someone who hides behind a mask.” You meant for the quip to have more bite, but your voice broke instead. Kylo Ren was quiet for a moment before turning to face you. _He won’t kill me, he won’t kill me, he won’t kill me, he won’t—_

Two leather-gloved hands rose to the sides of his helmet, unlatching a hook. The black thing reconfigured to allow Ren to slide it off his head. Both your heart and mind stopped. Hair as dark as the night flowed down to his shoulders. Pink lips, an aquiline nose, and deep brown eyes graced his pale skin. A faded red line fell from his bushy right eyebrow to below his sharp jawline. Freckles peppered his complexion like stars in the sky. He looked to be only a few years older than you, which only added to your surprise. He was beautiful, simple as that. You tried to memorize every freckle and dimple. _He’s beautiful. Kylo Ren is beautiful_. Finally, he spoke, his voice soft and deep. “Your thoughts, LZ.”

You broke away from your apparent trance as your face turned a deep shade of red. Your eyes found the floor in an attempt to quiet the frenzy in your mind. He inched forward, and you saw two black boots stop in front of your own. Leather grazed against your cheek, forcing your eyes back up to meet his. “It takes great strength to wield the force—it is a discipline that requires much sacrifice.” He hesitated, searching for the right words “ _You_ have that strength.” 

All in one moment, Ren made you feel understood, as though all your worries could disappear, and they did. There was a hard to place magnetism to him. You wanted to stand there and stare at his face for hours, but the man pulled his helmet back on, much to your dismay. 

The door to your training room slid open, causing you to jump. A scared-looking officer awkwardly walked toward the both of you. “Supreme Leader, sir, General Hux requests you in the control bridge.” Ren huffed and brushed past the small man, and you quickly followed. About five minutes later, you entered a large room with hundreds of panels and many frantic First Order employees running around. You were careful to keep a few steps behind Kylo, not wanting to anger him more than he already seemed.

General Hux was easy to spot in the middle of the main path that led to an enormous window overlooking every bit of space in front of you. He turned to greet you and his superior, trademark red hair meticulously combed back. Hux smiled in your direction but did not do the same to Ren, whose fists were already clenched at his side as if restraining himself. 

“Ah, Supreme Leader. How is training?” You could tell that his kindness was strained.

“Proceeding well, General.” Ren answered. Now that you had heard his voice without the helmet, it was odd to adjust to the modulator again. 

“That is excellent to hear. Now, I wanted to tell you that we are on track to arrive at Florrum. There is a briefing at 16:30.” Hux said proudly. 

“If I wanted to know that, I would have simply looked at my schedule, Hux.” The man beside you quipped. 

“Of course, I just wanted to let LZ know, as well, _sir_.” He sneered. The tension was palpable between the two men, and just when you thought they were going to tear each other’s throats out, Hux added, “She will be joining you.”

“No.” Ren said firmly. _Yeah, I’m going to have to agree with the Supreme Leader on this one_. You had heard of Florrum before but never dared to venture there. It was a desert wasteland that was home to sketchier characters than on Nar Shaddaa.

“I’m afraid that she is integral to the plan.” Hux smiled deviously, as he knew this would piss Kylo off. 

“Enlighten me.” He growled. 

“LZ-9992 is an assassin with a history of kills who often came from this planet. Our intelligence reports that there is a bounty for her on Florrum. We can use her to lure Elios in.” _Of course_. Elios Bly ran one of the largest illegal weapon trafficking rings in the galaxy, and you had purchased several items from him in the past. Needless to say, those transactions did not go as planned. To be fair, you never intended to kill his men—they were just harboring the target you needed. You gulped. _Did they know about that?_

Kylo looked at you and then back at Hux. “I have my knights. We can easily capture Elios without needing to involve her.”

“He will see you from miles away, and we cannot risk starting another full out war right now. We are sending the girl. She is trained, isn’t she?” Hux was seriously testing Ren’s limits. You could feel the rage rolling off of the man as his hand hovered over the hilt of his lightsaber. _Damn, I totally forgot he had one of those._ A lightsaber was one deadly object that you had never used before, and it was calling your name. 

“Obviously, but your title does not suit you, Hux, if you think I am willing to send our strongest advantage over the Resistance into the middle of that hole.”

“You said it yourself, sir: you’ll have your knights for reinforcements if need be.” The general stood smugly, knowing that his plan was going to work. Suddenly, his hands flew to his throat as he began to choke. You were about to lunge forward to help him when you saw that Ren’s outstretched arm was forcing Hux in place. The poor man’s face turned as red as his hair before Kylo released him. He sputtered for air and straightened his uniform jacket, trying to recover from the outburst. 

“If Elios so much as lays a finger on her, I will blow that man to pieces.” With that, he stalked away, cowl fluttering against his back. If you weren’t mistaken, you may have interpreted Ren’s threat in an intimate way, as though he felt the same magnetic pull toward you. However, you reminded yourself that you were nothing but a tool for the First Order, something that they could—h _ow did he put it?_ —use as an advantage. 

————————

Much later, you found yourself staring out one of the porthole windows in your room. It was small but showed a vast expanse of space. You had no idea where you were, but based off of what Hux had said in the briefing you just came from, Florrum would be within sight by morning. He also went over the details of the mission in greater detail. You were to be dressed plainly, as there was no point in disguise, and walk around the bartering arena. You wouldn’t buy anything, just wait for someone to notice you and send word to Elios. Hux assured you that the man would appear in person and not send one of his proxies to kill you. How that fact comforted you was beyond logic, but if things got too far, you’d be armed with a mini blaster. If everything went right, a squadron of stormtroopers would apprehend Elios and take him back for interrogation. _Easy enough, right?_

Although this wasn’t your first go-round in a vulnerable position, it was with the First Order. That seemed to calm your nerves, though. Before all of this, it was just you against everyone else—no backup, no plan b—so having Kylo Ren’s army lying in wait for you was comforting. 

You climbed into bed, muscles screaming in exertion from training this morning and also right before the briefing. That second session went exactly like the first except you didn’t get to dreamily gaze at Ren’s face. You found yourself wanting to do just that more than one time throughout the day. _Why does he cover his face when there is nothing to hide?_

Despite being knocked on the ground repeatedly, training with him made you feel something you’d never felt before. Sure, there was pain, but something else filled the air with electricity. It was like looking at the prism the other day but in a good way. _I think I’m getting delirious._ _Yes, that's right, I'm just imagining things. Things that are most definitely not there._

You drifted off to sleep thinking about the mission ahead of you, eager to bring the First Order the success they expected. 


	6. A Fight on Florrum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up, kiddies.

That night, you dreamt of a rain-soaked jungle. Moisture seeped into everything, including you. Around you, trees stood to touch the sky and green filled your field of vision. When you tried to walk, you found that you couldn’t, as if the foliage at your feet were tying you down. You heard a branch snap behind you, but you remained immobile. Fear began to flood your veins and you opened your mouth to speak, but you didn’t recognize the voice that rang out. “Who’s there?”

Your eyes flew open with a gasp. Sweat was pooled in your palms and on your forehead like you were still in that forest. Hastily removing the blankets, you jumped out of bed, mind racing. It was just a dream, calm down. You went to the refresher sink and splashed cool water on the back of your neck in an effort to douse the effect of the vision. The face you saw in the mirror was pale and scared with eyes red in alarm. If it was a dream, why did it feel so real? Insects of fear continued to burrow into your brain, and you shook your head to stop the emotion from taking over. It took at least five minutes of staring into your reflection, ten minutes in the shower, and an hour of looking out your window to come to the conclusion that the dream was most likely a product of your overwhelmed self. With all that had been brought to light in such a short period of time, it made sense.

Your alarm clock buzzed to signal the time at which you should’ve awoken. Pressing the button, you sighed. Not the best way to start today. Still, you gave yourself a mental pep talk as you dumped the familiar contents of a nutrient drink packet into the blender. A sad breakfast later, you were ready for the trip to Florrum.

Hux’s aide had given you an outfit the night before that you were to wear on the mission. It consisted of a plain white tunic, a leather jacket, black pants, and brown leather boots. Basic enough, I guess. You grabbed your datapad and started the long trek to the hangar, the location of which you conveniently memorized in order to avoid interactions like the one yesterday. Long black hallway after long black hallway after elevator ride, you arrived at the enormous facility. It stretched on forever, an endless array of hulking metal, tie fighters, transport ships, and stormtroopers marching in formation. You stood in awe for several moments before catching sight of a large, foreboding command shuttle, which could only be the property of one man. 

Luckily, you saw General Hux standing near the ship, so you walked over with a purpose. “Hello, General.”

He smiled warmly. “Good morning, LZ. Unless you have found another name?” The man looked at you expectantly.

“No, sir. Not as of right now.” Frankly, you were fine with LZ. It was better than “girl."

“I see.” There was an air of awkwardness about Hux—something that suggested he did not engage in casual conversation often. “Well, are you ready?”

“I believe so. Are there any other details that I should know about before departing?” You wanted to feel as prepared as you could.

“Just remember that you will be there as bait, nothing more, nothing less. Do not engage in any physical confrontation. My men will detain Elois quickly, and then we’ll be on our way.” I wouldn’t bet on that quickly part. His hands were clasped behind his back and he stood tall with perfect posture. It set you on edge. Who’s he trying to please?

“Yes, sir, I understand.” You returned his smile. Then a stormtrooper approached the two of you, holding a small blaster gun. Hux took it from the soldier and held it out to you. 

“A weapon. Only in case of emergency.” He warned. You took it from him and concealed it on your belt, making sure that the jacket covered it. 

“Thank you.” You’d heard a lot of talk of backup for a plan that was supposedly surefire. You were about to ask him if you should be worried or not when the Supreme Leader materialized beside you. It was impossible to not feel a bit inferior when he was there towering over you. Hux wasted no time getting to the point of things.

“Ren, it’s good that you’re finally here. I was just telling LZ that—” Kylo didn’t even give him the opportunity to finish his sentence before turning and boarding the ship. I guess someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Just like me, hahaha. Your amusement of the situation was short-lived, though, when you saw the dangerous shade of crimson that Hux’s face was turning. He was practically shaking as he stared daggers into the Ren’s black cloak, so you decided that it was also a good time for you to get on the shuttle. Today was starting off poorly for everyone, you supposed, but it was time to get in the zone. 

“Thank you again, sir.” You gave a sympathetic smile to Hux and walked up the ramp to the ship.

What you saw next only made you want to turn right back around. Six hulking masked behemoths sat motionless in the small common area. Each dark figure had a helmet just like Ren’s and a unique deadly weapon laying at their feet. Your heart stopped. The knights. The ones Hux and Ren were talking about. The Knights of Ren, much like Kylo Ren himself, had once been an elusive fairytale to you as a child. The mysterious group of men was incomparable to anything else in the galaxy because there truly was nothing deadlier. Here they were in front of you, though, and the energy was chaotic. You could feel it as soon as you saw them; it was a raw power that made your mind scream: run. 

Four of them swiveled their heads to look at you, and they could probably sense your fear from there, but you couldn’t help it. Standing there petrified, the engine started and rumbled the floor beneath you. The ramp began to close, concealing you and your fate inside. You took a couple of tiny steps to the side and slid your back down the wall. Seemingly accepting your position, the knights who had been watching you settled into their seats, adjusting into more comfortable positions. How that was possible with ten tons of armor on was a mystery to you. You felt the shuttle liftoff and fly out of the hangar, the low hum of movement making you oddly relaxed. Since you left your ship on Nixus, it was nice to be on another one again even if it was filled with scary men. 

As outlined by Hux’s plan, the Supremacy had come to a stop just outside Florrum’s orbit with its shields engaged, just in case. This meant that the ride to the planet was short, but gave you enough time to get in the right mindset. You did the same thing before missions on your own with the prism in your hand. Not having it with you felt weird, but with more distance between you and that starship, the anxiety gripping your chest still lessened. You let your eyes close and focus at the task at hand. Blend in, lure Elios, let troopers capture him, then leave. Easy, piece of cake. I don’t even have to kill anyone. You were certain that Elios would remember your face, as he was notorious for taking care of his loose ends. And quite the loose end you were; One of his lovers had been an object of your mission a few years ago on Nar Shaddaa, and while you succeeded in killing her, it did not come without a heavy casualty toll for him. That was one of the more dangerous adventures you had, and Elios apparently never forgot it. 

Gradually, the vibrations from the engine slowed, signaling that you were landing on Florrum. Once they stopped completely, the door to the cockpit slid open with a hiss. The knights rose to their feet in unison, ceremoniously acknowledging the entrance of Supreme Leader Ren. He stalked out of the threshold and straight over to you. Your shoulders once again met the cold metal wall as you tried to lengthen the space between the two of you. “Listen to me.” He demanded, a daunting finger pointed out. “You are to be a lure, nothing else. Do not try to fight Elios or anyone who provokes you. Losing you would be…catastrophic to the order.” You moved your head up and down, never breaking eye contact with his silver visor. Am I really that important?

Yes. Another deeper voice answered in your mind. It was Ren. You were sure you hadn’t heard him speak it. 

How did you do that? You felt silly asking the question.

How do you think? If you could see his face, it probably had a smirk on it. “My knights and I will wait for Elios to make himself known, then intercept him.” He said, out loud this time, returning to his serious tone. You got the message.

“Understood, sir.” Ren motioned for you to exit the ship down the ramp. With a final glance over your shoulder, you stepped onto the dry Florrum sand. Hot wind pried at your jacket, nearly whipping it off your arms, prompting you to pull it tighter across your chest. The planet had a mysteriously dark sky, one that threatened serious weather if you didn’t know any different. The command shuttle, as well as several transport ships, had landed under concealment from a dune. Once you crested the small hill, the market was laid out in front of you. Various speeders, animals, and people milled about, no doubt looking for their next illicit trade. 

As you got closer to your destination, a spark of happiness ignited within your stomach; Kylo Ren, the leader of the First Order, just admitted that you were important. He spoke to you in your mind, no less, which was only more exciting. Is that what wielding the force feels like? It felt natural and there was no pain. An instinct, perhaps. The prospect of knowing more about the thing fueled a rush of adrenaline through you. If only he had said that while I could look into those brown eyes. No, you needed to stay attentive.

An old wooden archway stood as the entrance, scarred from fire and worn by the sharp breeze. You passed underneath it and scouted the area for a second. To the right, there were several cantinas where old men sat bickering. To your left was a circle of stalls, at the center of which was an empty fountain. White marble had, at one point, been carved to resemble what looked like a type of bird, but it too was worn away by the wind. It was a good thing you had pulled your hair up this morning, or else it would definitely be a disaster.   
Several people were looking at you now, so it would be no surprise if Elios appeared within the next few minutes. You saw this as your chance to take a peek at the local market—maybe there was an item that would pique your interest. Shifting to walk forward, you felt the blaster press against your hip, a reminder of a sort of safety. Slowly perusing the vendors, you caught a glimpse of something shiny; it was a crystal cup. You’d never seen such wealth in a place like this, so you stopped to talk to the young woman standing behind the makeshift counter. “May I see that?” You pointed at the cup.

She eyed you up and down. “No.” She spat with a heavy accent. That was rude.

“Why not?” You arched an eyebrow. Suddenly, the unmistakable round barrel of a blaster much larger than yours made contact with the base of your neck. The woman’s eyes went wide in reaction to whoever held the weapon.

“Because you can’t afford it.” A gravelly sound filled your ears and you immediately recognized the source. Elios. Damn it, I knew Hux wouldn’t get to him in time. How did he slip past the order’s watch?

Carefully, you turned around to face the man, his gun now pointed at your throat. “Elios, it’s been a while.” He looked much older than the last time you had seen him, with fine lines and sunspots dotting his tan forehead. Graying blonde hair framed his thin face, contrasting against the healed scars on his cheeks. 

“Has it?” He asked, playfully. He knew he had the upper hand. For now. “Why are you here, sweetheart?” 

You swallowed, neck pushing against the end of the blaster. “Same as you—checking out the goods.” Your eyes darted around behind him, but saw no sign of Ren, his knights, or any stormtroopers, but you didn’t panic yet.

“We both know that’s not true.” Elios moved the weapon to aim at the side of your stomach as he tugged you forward to walk with him. You both set out in a casual stroll as though you were old friends catching up. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Where are they?

He stopped for a second and leaned in to whisper, “I think you do.”

“Cut the crap, Elios. I was here looking for a lightsaber.” You made up the lie on the spot, remembering how cool the weapon looked when Ren had it. It wasn’t totally unbelievable, either, as lightsabers could be found in some sketchy places, although very rare. 

“Yeah, and I’m the king of Coruscant.” He sneered, tightening his grip on your upper arm. The man steered you down an alley between two buildings. As you walked, he said, “You know, I was beginning to give up hope of ever having the chance to crush that pretty little brain of yours. It must be my lucky day, having you walk right onto my planet.” Elios let out an awful laugh. Okay, now I’m beginning to get worried. 

Your free hand went to your belt, feeling for the mini blaster. It remained resting near your hip, ready for action if needed. Wait until he stops walking. He led you to the back of one of the cantinas where you could still hear the faint music drifting from inside. Pushing you in front of him, the gaunt man aimed the blaster at your head. “I’m going to enjoy this.”

You had to buy some time. “What? You can’t kill me with no one watching. Where are your men? Or what’s left of them?” You smiled, couldn’t help but adding that last comment. He mirrored your expression.

“You’re right. Boys?” With the snap of Elios’ scrawny fingers, four men walked out of the alley you had just come from and circled you. Your hand hovered at your waist. I bet this qualifies as being an extenuating circumstance to Hux.

“Wow. Did you plan that one? I bet it took you all two of your brain cells to come up with it.” He didn’t scare you, but the idea of being outnumbered did. Seriously, where the hell is Ren?

In the blink of an eye, Elios had closed the distance between you two, now shoving the barrel into your forehead. His men looked like they were just aching to gut you. Your hand closed around the gun in your belt and withdrew it. Slowly, you pressed the much tinier barrel to his abdomen. Seeing that, he laughed that horrible laugh again. Your heart was racing. “You come here, alone, to Florrum, claiming to be looking for a lightsaber, and expect me to not end your miserable life right now?”

Your thoughts were drowned out by screams, loud and horrific. They came from behind Elios: his men. He turned slowly and that’s when you saw Kylo Ren, flanked by his knights. Four of them were standing behind Elios’ gang members with their heads in hand, noticeably detached from the rest of their bodies. Blood stained the otherwise pristine sand, soaking into the ground. It must have been a terrifying sight to see for Elios, but not for you. 

Head thrumming with static electricity, you looked solely at the man leading the others. Kylo Ren stood tall and foreboding in the middle of his little army. At that moment, you saw only him.

I thought I told you not to start any fights. His voice invaded your mind, but you welcomed it.

I also thought you told me that you would intercept him before any fighting started. The corners of your lips turned slightly upward. 

That’s because it hasn’t started yet. Ren ignited the silver hilt of his lightsaber. A vibrant red beam of crackling light protruded from it, emitting the same energy that you felt in your head. 

“What were you saying, Elios?” You asked the trembling man.


	7. A Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get a name and some more answers.

Kylo Ren’s familiar black helmet stared at you intensely, but you knew that his eyes were closed underneath it. You were sitting, legs crossed, on the glossy black floor about five feet away from him. He mirrored your position but looked far more relaxed as he breathed evenly. He had dragged you to and from his meditation room for hours on end ever since you arrived back on the _Supremacy,_ telling you that the only true way to connect with the force was to let it connect with you. Whatever that meant. Needless to say, it wasn’t working. You shifted restlessly, gaze tracing from Kylo’s head to his leather gloves that were resting on the tops of his knees. 

“If you closed your eyes it might work better.” Ren said, breaking the deafening silence. _Oops._ Resettling your position on the floor, you tried again. The scene on Florrum appeared in your mind. Kylo standing, red lightsaber in hand, over the bodies of Elios’ men, ready to attack. The knights stood around their master, prepared to defend him. You remembered how all of your fear dissipated instantly, replaced with relief. It was the first time anyone had truly saved you from certain death, and you were in awe. Although you maybe could’ve maneuvered out of the situation, it would not be without a great deal of trouble. Elios really didn’t stand a chance. _Ugh, Elios. Disgusting. I’m glad they’re finally interrogating him_. 

“Good, focus on that anger, LZ.” Kylo said, breaking your weak concentration. 

You cracked open your eyes. “This isn’t helping, sir. I’ve been trying to connect with the force for over two hours now and haven’t felt anything.” It came out sounding whinier than you intended. It was strange to see him so calm after watching the numerous temper tantrums he’d thrown in the past few days. 

“When it is time, it will show you what you need to see.” The deep, modulated voice replied. You let out a groan of annoyance. Why did he need to speak so cryptically all the time? _Kylo Ren will be the death of me_. “No, unfortunately, I won’t.”

“Sir, with all due respect, will you please stop reading my thoughts?” That little trick was getting old. 

“We’ve been over this, LZ; your mind simply projects to me. I can’t stop reading your thoughts.” He breathed back. That trick was getting old, but you were desperate to learn more about it. 

“Well, can you teach me more about it? The force, I mean.” You asked expectantly. He slumped his shoulders, obviously giving up on meditating, as well. 

“You will learn, but it will take time.” Ren sounded a little exasperated. 

“How much time?” You asked, a bit quieter this time. He pushed himself up off the ground and stood with his arms crossed. You had to crane your neck to look up at the silver visor. 

“Do you know why it took so long to sense your place in the force?” You rose to stand, too, although still falling about seven inches shorter than the man. 

“Because of the prism?” You didn’t want to be wrong. He nodded. 

“As I told you before, the little prism that we found in your possession was blocking your signal, so to speak.” You remembered now what he had said to you. There was someone out there who wanted to stop your interaction with the force. “I’ve looked in the archives, but there is nothing like it on record. If there is a being out there powerful enough to create such a thing, then they pose a great threat to the dark side of the force.” Ren began to pace back and forth in front of you, deep in thought.

“The dark side of the force.” You repeated. The idea of the dark side had been ingrained in practically everyone’s minds since the fall of the republic, yours included, but it was shrouded in mystery. It was the first time you’d even grazed the topic since joining Ren. He stopped his walk and turned to face you, boots squeaking against the black floor. 

“Yes.” He said. 

“I just—I suppose I don’t know a lot about it, either.” A crackling noise that sounded like a sigh came from Ren’s helmet. 

“Make no mistake, the dark side holds everything you want. And more.” He raised a fist as if to emphasize the fact. “It gives us life and power—the ability to rule the galaxy and far beyond.” His voice rose to a roar. Goosebumps pricked your skin at the mention of such incredible things. _Can Ren really offer all of that?_ “With you, it will happen.”

You couldn’t answer for a few moments, just overwhelmed with emotion. Anxiety, hopefulness, sadness, and anticipation washed through your body. When you finally spoke, your voice sounded timid, “But I don’t know how.” That was the issue, after all. Ren spoke so often about these possibilities, but you still didn’t have a grasp on anything related to the force.

He strode toward you, now only inches away. Your eye level met his firm chest, once again having to bend your neck to see his helmet. “You will.” He said. 

Unbeknownst to you, his eyes desperately raced down your body, trying to memorize every detail. Known to him, though, you wanted so badly to do the same to his. Despite the feeling, you kept your wide eyes trained only on his mask. After what felt like an hour, Kylo increased the distance between you by taking a step back. You looked down and cleared your throat. _That was a little awkward_. 

“The reason why you’re lacking in power now is because of the prism.” The modulated voice returned. “It is still in my quarters for research purposes, and I’m afraid I can’t get rid of it until we know exactly what it is.” He seemed almost apologetic. 

“Of course, that makes sense.” You were still trying to shake off the moment you both had just shared. 

“There is still much for you to learn in the meantime. Beginning with the history of the force.” _Oh, great. I’m going to school now._

_I hope that isn’t sarcasm._ Kylo’s voice filled your head in response to your thought, deep and lilting. You blushed furiously at the idea of maligning something so distinguished.

“No, sir, not at all.” Another silence settled over the air, and you were being tortured every second of it. In an attempt to move away from that conversation, you said, “You know, I forgot about my name.” His head perked up at the mention of the subject. “Well, since you said it was normal for people…in my position to have formal names.” You quickly explained. 

“Oh?” Ren pondered.

“I was wondering if maybe you had any ideas?” You asked, filled with hope. “I’ve never had any experience with this.” He looked down at his folded arms as though the answer lay there. 

“Florrum.” Kylo said after a minute. 

“The planet?” You were confused now. He shook his head.

“What does it remind you of?” He asked expectantly.

“Um, sand, wind…” You trailed off. “Elios?” 

“No, no, definitely not. Flowers.” 

“Oh.” You said softly, even though you definitely were not following his logic.

“It reminds me of flowers—of Callaia.” Ren mused, staring down at you.

“Callaia.” You tested it out, the name rolling smoothly off your tongue. Hope ignited once again in your heart. 

“They grew in a place I knew once a long time ago. They’re delicate but fierce. It reminds me of…you.” He affirmed tentatively. It was almost like he was nervous, but you couldn’t stop the smile from spreading on your face. You buzzed with a warm tingling sensation that traveled down your arms and up your neck. You had a name, a real name.

“I like it.” It felt overwhelmingly, naturally yours. “Thank you, sir.” You hoped he was smiling, too, underneath all that armor. 

It was the strangest thing; you realized then that you didn’t feel scared when he was with you. There was something about him that made you want to know him, _really_ know him. Take two steps forward, not two steps back. You knew there was more to the fierce man than he let on, and he didn’t let any detail about himself slip. It was an intense curiosity—one that you suddenly decided to follow to the ends of the galaxy to satisfy.


	8. A Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get an injury and your dream returns, but this time it's telling you something.

_Tap tap tap tap tap_. Water sprinkled down from the trees onto the knee-length plants surrounding you. A drop hit your cheek and rolled off your face, splattering the ground that was covered in green. You recognized the black combat pants and gun holsters strapped to your legs as your own, but not the rainy world. It was dark and wet, just like last time. Unlike your previous vision, though, you found that you could move. Slowly, you stretched out your right leg and took a step forward, crunching the leaves into the soft soil. Besides the rain and your soft breaths, there was no other sound. You didn’t feel afraid. The forest seemed to stretch on forever, hiding whatever light was cast by the planet’s moon. Before you had the chance to venture any deeper into the wilderness, an unmistakable glow appeared between a few trees in the distance. Its blue-ish hue cut through the nighttime green, beckoning you to come closer. It was hypnotizing, but something deep inside you screamed to turn the other way. You couldn’t.

A searing pain roared through your temples and down your neck, similar to the one you felt when Kylo squeezed into your mind. You sat up in bed and drew your knees up, hugging them. It was a dream, nothing more. The light from the forest still clouded your vision, painting the dark outlines of your room in a faint blue. Exhaustion blanketed your senses as though you had just run a million miles, yet you forced yourself onto the hard floor anyway. You stood there for a solid minute trying to shake the humid feeling from your skin before getting ready for the day. 

_3:37_ the clock read. _Might as well get a head start on training_. You pushed through the tiredness and got dressed, pulling a standard fitted gray t-shirt and black leggings on. The boots felt heavy on your sore feet as you trudged through the ship to get to the training room. It was deserted, apart from one or two troopers on watch, and there was not a soul in the whole facility. Once you stepped onto the foam mat of the sparring ring, a rush of adrenaline hit. There was nothing like punching a heavy bag by yourself early in the morning. You carefully wrapped your hands in white tape and threw a full water bottle off to the side. Arms up, shoulders back, and legs bent, you began to throw hooks against the hanging boxing bag, making it sway side to side on its chains. A kick here, an elbow there, an uppercut every now and then—there was no stopping you. There wouldn’t be an end to this until the feeling from the dream left you entirely. It was a pent-up sort of energy that was slowly unwinding around your lungs and heart, letting you breathe again. You were so focused that you didn’t hear footsteps enter the room.

“You’re up early.” You’d learned to recognize the sound of Commander Ren’s voice by now. You spun around, hands still raised, to see your superior already dressed for the day in his staple black outfit and helmet. 

“I could say the same to you, sir.” Your breathing was still heavy.

“I’m always awake at this hour.” _Of course he is_. He leaned his head to the side in acknowledgment of your inner comment. You relaxed your stance and shook out your arms, releasing them of their tension. “You’re bleeding.” He said. Confused, you surveyed your body in search of the injury. Dark blood seeped out of the tape that covered your knuckles, coating the rest of your hand. How could you not feel any pain from it? You gasped and started to unwrap the wound. “No, go to the infirmary.” He maintained his position from outside the ring.

“No, it’s okay. It’s just a scratch.” You tried to wipe the crimson liquid away but only ended up making more of a mess. 

“Callaia.” He warned. You froze. The name was still new and hearing him say it made another feeling blossom deep inside of you, but there wasn’t any time to pursue it. He started over to you, stepping over the elastic bands that outlined the mat. Placing a firm grip right above your elbow, he dragged you out of the training area. “If you are to learn from me properly, let this be your first lesson: take care of yourself. Don’t be stupid.” Kylo muttered, steering you left and right down the corridors. There were too many things happening at once—training, then him, then you were bleeding, and now the infirmary. 

A clinically white room surrounded the two of you, making Ren only stand out more than he already did as he towered above everyone else. He released you from his hold and three nurses immediately sat you down on a bed to inspect the damage. It really wasn’t so bad; the tops of your knuckles had just slightly split open. You guessed that it probably looked bad to anyone else, but growing up in a rough world, cuts like these were common. _No biggie_. Sitting patiently with your hands laid out on a rollaway table, you watched the flurry of activity as the timid staff operated under the menacing presence of their Supreme Leader. You eyed the dark man up and down where he stood, arms crossed, at the end of your bed. Suddenly, you became admiring of the power he had over other people. Ren silently commanded the attention of everyone in the room without practically ever having to do anything, making them cater to his needs alone. It was amazing, really.

You were ripped from your thoughts as one nurse poured cleaning alcohol over the broken skin. With a sharp inhale, you squeezed your eyes shut as the pain hit you all at once. It wasn’t unbearable in the least, just very, very uncomfortable. She apologized profusely, probably out of fear of upsetting Ren and his new trainee. You gave her a reassuring smile and stretched out your hands more against the protest of your screaming muscles. 

“Nurse,” Kylo said, voice threateningly low through the modulator. She swallowed and shakily looked up at the black mask. “Take a blood sample while you’re at it.” 

The nurse nodded and returned to dressing your knuckles. _A blood sample?_ You stared questioningly at the man but he didn’t indulge your curiosity this time. _Whatever_. Twenty minutes later, you, your bandaged hands, and Ren left the infirmary. You fell into step behind him, letting him lead the way back, but you noticed that the hallways weren’t the same ones you’d entered through. “Sir?”

As if he read your mind, and he probably did, he said, “Hux wants us at another briefing.” Another briefing? Hadn’t you just been on a mission, like, three days ago? Not wanting to antagonize Kylo more than he already was at the mention of talking to the general, you stayed quiet. You arrived at the tall set of double doors to the briefing room you’d been in once before and took a seat at Ren’s right near the head of the table. There were a few officers already in chairs when you got there—three men and one woman—and they stood up to greet the Supreme Leader, waiting for him to settle in before resuming their positions. It was strange; when you were with him, it was like you had power, too. You weren’t sure if you’d ever get used to it at all. Self-consciousness crept into the back of your mind like a spider. _I wonder what other people on the ship think of me._

You looked down at your hands, playing with the stray gauze. It only hurt a little bit now because the nurse had given you some pain medication. At least you weren’t thinking about the dream anymore. Just then, General Hux stepped into the room. 

“I apologize, everyone. I just came from a meeting with our chief engineer.” He explained his tardiness as he sat down at the end of the long table, opposite you and Ren.

“Do not waste anymore of my time with your dull apologies.” Kylo responded in a low tone, warning his immediate inferior. Hux only glanced up from the data pad in his hands.

“Right, so my team and I, based on the success of the mission on Florrum, have decided to pursue a lead on Vodran. We’ve received information that some of the Hutt Cartel has returned to the planet and are planning to stage a rebellion. Naturally—” 

“Can this not be handled by a few squadrons of stormtroopers?” Ren interrupted, challenging the general. 

“We’ve decided that we cannot risk even the smallest of threats to Vodran’s control. In fact, this should pique your interest, sir.” Hux said in a surprisingly calm demeanor.

“And why is that, Hux?” He sounded condescending, as though he already knew the answer. 

“Several Resistance ships have been spotted near its orbit in the past few days.” Ren stood up so fast that his chair flew backward. The sudden commotion made your heart leap out of your chest. 

“You did not think to tell me this sooner?” He shouted. Everyone in the room, including Hux, now looked fearful.

“I just did.” Hux was trying to maintain his composure, you could tell, but his facade was cracking. A deadly silence hung in the air, and you didn’t dare to disturb it. You looked in between the two men—neither was backing down. Ren’s hand went to his belt and pulled out the hilt of his lightsaber. This was only the second time you’d ever seen it, and if this one was anything like the first, Hux was about to be dead meat. 

Instead, Kylo turned around entirely to face the wall. Pure fury was emanating from him like light from a star. With a flick of his finger, he ignited the saber and a red heat filled the space. This only flooded you with more uncertainty. In the blink of an eye, Ren was slashing furiously at the surface in front of him, blistering black marks cutting through the honeycomb-like pattern of the metal. It was terrifying, no doubt about it, but there was a minuscule amount of awe that you felt, just like on Florrum. 

Once he was done with his outburst, the silence returned and his anger dissipated. The only remainder of the tantrum was the destroyed wall and the horrified officers. Kylo replaced his weapon, taking a seat to stare back at a scared Hux. Your heart was still beating fifty times a second. “We should take care of this business at once.” The masked man said at last. 

The general gulped and recomposed himself. “Of course.”

“I will take Callaia and a couple of squadrons to Vodran tomorrow at 19:00.” Ren said, raising his hand to reference you.

“Sir…Callaia?” Hux questioned. 

“Are you disrespecting my apprentice, Hux?” 

“No, no. I just didn’t realize you had found another name, LZ.” He hurried to explain. You only nodded. 

After a few more minutes of briefing on the rebellious force, the meeting came to an end. You hurried out after the other officers and went straight to your quarters. It had already been such an eventful day and it was only about ten o’clock. Trying to unravel the last few hours of your life, you collapsed onto the bed. Pain was beginning to return to your hands, but you were too exhausted—both mentally and physically—to comprehend it. _A nap wouldn’t hurt, right?_

Sleep took you peacefully and quickly, but soon you were in the forest again. This time, the light was much brighter, its intense blue making you squint your eyes to see. You attempted to get closer but your legs were frozen, like the first dream. There was no sound except for the usual rain. It felt like hours before something else happened; a voice at your right ear. You couldn’t talk, couldn’t move, couldn’t scream. It whispered, “You can’t run from this.”

Jolting upright in bed, you awoke from the nightmare. Except you couldn’t see your quarters around you. _Am I still asleep?_ It looked like your room but much larger, with an immense window to the left, a kitchen, table with chairs, and a door to a sizable bedroom to the right. Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted someone standing at the window. You almost didn’t recognize them at first because it was so dark. When you did, confusion gripped your senses. It was Kylo Ren. 

He was staring right at you. Almost through you. His bare face made your thoughts grind to a halt. You were instantly mesmerized by his features, as though it was the first time seeing them. The pillowy lips, soft eyes, and raven hair affected you like nothing ever had. “Your dream.” His unmodulated, baritone voice rang out. 

“Yes?” 

“When did you start seeing it?” He asked. You shifted from foot to foot.

“A few nights ago.” You responded.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ren sounded nearly hurt by the fact. 

“I…didn't think it was important.” It was true. You passed it off as a weird vision, but you could no longer deny the effect it was having on you. He took a few steps from the window and into the light. It illuminated his freckles and sharp nose. 

“This is serious, Callaia. The force is trying to show you something.” When he said your name, goosebumps raced up your arms. _The force is actually working with me?_ He took another small step. You two were only six feet apart now. 

“It is?” You sounded small and scared, which you supposed you actually were. 

“Yes,” Ren moved even closer. “Don’t be afraid. Listen to it.” You swallowed hard. A convoluted mix of emotions stirred inside you: curiosity, fear, and intrigue. That last one was directed toward the man standing within arm’s reach of you.

“But—” You searched his deep eyes.

“Meet me at the training center after dinner.” His gaze swept you from head to toe. “Don’t be late.”


	9. Injury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After your dream, you get an injury in training. You start to feel a certain way about the Supreme Leader.

All at once, you were back in your own room, Kylo Ren and his quarters disappearing from view. You ran your hands up and down your legs to make sure the whole vision was real. It sure _felt_ real; the electricity still flickered on your skin from just being with him, and those brown eyes had a serious effect. Each time you saw Ren, that was becoming a more common occurrence. 

You shook your head to snap out of the daze and went to go wash off the morning’s brutal incidents. After unwrapping the now-bloodied gauze, you turned on a hot shower and stepped through the glass door. The water was almost unbearably warm, but it felt so good against your sore arms, that is until it got to your hands. A dull stinging sensation inflamed your knuckles, causing some of the wounds to open again. You didn’t pay it any attention, though, as this was one of the first times you’d been truly relaxed since joining the First Order. If it weren’t for the fact that the water was making your skin raw, you would’ve stayed in there for hours. Stepping out, you quickly held a fresh towel to your hands in an effort to stop the minimal bleeding. It stung even more in the colder air of the refresher, but you managed to get dressed and dry your hair without much trouble. 

You debated whether or not to go back to the infirmary and request new dressings. _If I go back, it’ll probably be more trouble for those poor nurses, and I’m not even bleeding that badly. Ugh, guess I’ll wait it out here._ Settling down in a chair near the kitchen, you stared out the small window into space. You couldn’t stop thinking about Ren—his strong power, his leadership, his face. _That hair and those eyes could do something for real._

There was an infinite stretch of stars in front of you, and you wondered if that man who gave you the prism was out there on a planet far away. Could you find him? _Was it even him who wanted to stop me from discovering the force? Or was it someone he worked for?_ Suddenly you felt very, very, very small. You were alone on a First Order mega-ship heading toward who-knows-where and in the middle of all of it, the force was trying to show you something. _I’m just me. How can I be involved in all of this?_

Your curiosity turned into a vast uncertainty and tears pricked your eyes. As much as Kylo made you feel sure about things, an emptiness remained. Sitting there for several minutes breathing evenly, the emotion faded back into cautious anxiety. You looked away from the window and then down at the cuts on your hands. They seemed to have closed so you removed the towel and chucked it at the refresher door. _Some mess I’m in_. 

——————-

Time passed slowly and painfully until you left your quarters to get dinner. It was the first time you were actually eating real food here, and you were excited—that gross smoothie was just not cutting it. The dining hall was cold and spacious with a cafeteria-like over the counter operation. Surprisingly, there were only a few officers occupying the many metal tables and chairs that scattered the glossy floor. Some ate together while some ate alone; you’d be part of the latter. 

Hunger struck you mercilessly as you made your way over to the food. Even though it was all a gray mush, it was the best gray mush you’d ever seen. _At least it’s solid_. You filled a tray, grabbed some water, and sat down a few tables down from another solitary officer. It was a matter of minutes in which you finished your meal, leaving you satisfied but aimlessly looking at your surroundings. Like the rest of the _Supremacy_ , metal and concrete were laced with even more dark metal. Tall beams held the ceiling in place and reflected light onto the spotless floor, blinding anyone who might look at it. _I wonder who designed this whole thing_ _because they need a lesson in color._

You then turned to the other officers, who looked like they’d just been forced to run a marathon. That’s probably what it felt like to work under Hux. Their uniforms were meticulously in order which made you glad that you didn’t have to wear one. A simple white tank top and black pants made up your outfit of choice tonight, based on Ren’s instructions to meet him in the training facility. You assumed he was going to teach you how to kick something because your hands were still a bit tender at the moment. 

A small clock was hung on the far wall near the doors. Judging by the hands, it was just past 7:30. Ever the mysterious man, Kylo had never given you a specific time, but it was after dinner so you decided to clear your tray and leave. You smiled at the poor officers as you made your way to the exit and none returned the gesture. _Figures_. The training center was only a floor below the dining hall, making for a relatively short journey. Familiar double doors welcomed you into a sparsely-populated area. Only a few gym-goers were practicing their shooting and sprints, the occasional squeak of a shoe or blaster shot ringing through the space.

There was no sign of Ren until you caught sight of a private training room guarded by two troopers. You approached slowly. “Hi, um, I think that I’m supposed to meet the Supreme Leader here.”

The two soldiers looked at you and then each other. One took a step to the side and pushed a button that opened the door. It slid into the wall with a hiss, revealing the man you came for. He stood, tall and dark as ever, squarely in the middle of the floor. You tentatively entered the small room as the door slid back closed and settled yourself at a respectable length from Kylo Ren. The black ribbed shirt underneath his armor made his muscles all the more menacing. He stayed so still, arms crossed tightly over his broad chest, that you were almost certain that he wasn’t breathing. After a beat of tortuous silence, Ren finally stalked toward you just like he had earlier that day, slow and methodical, only this time you couldn’t see where his eyes were searching. 

“Are your hands still in pain?” He asked, the mask giving him a monotone voice. 

You flexed your fingers with only a little resistance and tried not to wince. “Not really.” 

“Let me see.” Ren extended his leather gloves out expectantly. You were confused but obeyed his request. As soon as your fingers made contact with his, a fire ignited in your soul. Thousands of tiny lightning bolts surged through your nerves, begging him to pull you closer. You’d never felt so electrified, yet Kylo seemed like a rock in a hurricane, stable and calm. He rested your hands in his palms and ducked his head to examine the cuts. “They’re bad. Why did you do such a thing in the first place?”

You were speechless. What were you supposed to tell him? _Oh, yeah. I was so petrified by a dream I had that I couldn’t stop punching a bag_. He tilted his chin slightly, now searching your eyes. You really needed to keep your thoughts under control. “Close your eyes.” Ren said. 

It was clear that this was no time to play games, so you did what he asked once again. Instantly your hands flooded with warmth, just like the sensation inside your body only much greater. More than anything, though, you felt him. Overwhelming and irresistible, Kylo invaded your body and mind completely, eclipsing any shadow of a doubt. You didn’t ever want to let go, but just as quickly as it started, it ended. Disappointment flickered briefly, then it was gone. Cautiously, you opened your eyes. His enormous hands engulfed you, but there was a difference now; smooth, flawless skin covered the knuckles that were torn only seconds before. You snapped up to meet his visor.

“How?” You asked, incredulous. 

“The dark side of the force can give one the ability to heal people if used properly.” Ren answered. He dropped your hands softly and a strange coldness enveloped you in his place. You almost shuddered at the feeling. 

“Thank you, sir.” You swelled with gratitude, and you hoped he could sense it.

“Please, call me Kylo. A good master knows his apprentice, as should a good apprentice know her master.” He said. Your heart skipped a beat, still wound up from his touch.

“I agree, Kylo.” A smile tugged at your lips. You wished now more than anything that you could see his face. If you could, you’d know that he was smiling, too.

————————

Amazingly, your sleep was uneventful that night—no dream, no force, nothing. When you woke up, you were refreshed and certainly ready for the mission on Vodran tonight. Kylo was flying you in under the cover of darkness to take the cartel members by surprise. You secretly hoped there would be a lot of action, as you were itching to use a blaster for the first time in ages. 

Ren had canceled your usual training that day in order to go over the gathered intelligence. The thought of encountering actual resistance members, as Hux said, was enough to send your thirst for a fight into overdrive. You truly didn’t have anything against them, but being on the side of the First Order gave you a good reason for violence. The resistance didn’t have a huge presence in the Outer Rim, so you didn’t encounter them all that often during your jobs. However, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t curious about them. 

Rising to get ready, you couldn’t stop feeling your newly healed hands. Thoughts of last night filled your head, the heat quickly returning to your chest and fingertips. Kylo amazed you at that moment, to say the least. With that, you stepped into the refresher to change. 

Seconds turned into minutes and minutes turned into hours, the majority of which you spent researching Vodran on your datapad. Just like you had learned at the briefing, it was occupied by the Hutt Cartel for a long time until the First Order secured control. It was a planet dominated by swamps that were notoriously difficult to traverse. As for local fauna, dianogas made their home in the Vodran waters. This, in particular, disgusted you. They were squid-like creatures with sharp teeth and you had the sinking feeling that they could make you their next snack. _Definitely watching out for those_. 

Before you knew it, the clock ticked 18:30—it was time to start making your way to the hangar. You laced up your black combat boots and straightened the tank top straps that lay across your shoulders. If it was going to be unbearably warm, you’d be prepared. 

The metallic expanse of the _Supremacy_ ’s ship hub never failed to leave you breathless. Row upon row of angular battle machines tugged at your piloting instincts and you longed to fly one of them someday. The command shuttle sat front and center, ramp already lowered, with Hux and Ren next to it. _Am I late? I can’t be late_. Adrenaline pumped through your veins at the thought of delaying the mission. You increased your pace over to the two men. 

“Callaia, so nice of you to join us.” Hux said pleasantly, turning to acknowledge you.

“I’m sorry, sir. Am I late?” The general wasn’t technically your superior, but a voice in your head advised you to keep addressing him as such.

“No, not at all. The Supreme Leader and I were just discussing the possibility of resistance ships near Vodran.” Hux glanced at Ren and back at you. 

“Do you think they’ll be there?” You asked.

“If they had any wits about them, no.” The general looked weary as though he was headed into battle himself. 

“Thank you for the stimulating conversation, Hux.” Ren interjected. If his helmet was off, the sarcasm would be dripping from his tone. “We should get going.” He raised his hand to wave you onto the ship. After a moment’s hesitation, you walked up the ramp and entered the main cabin. Ren’s heavy footsteps echoed past you, his arm brushing against yours as he opened the door to the cockpit. 

You looked around at all of the empty seats. _At least there are no freaky knights this time_. “Callaia, sit in the cockpit.” Kylo said from the doorway without looking at you. He disappeared into the room. _Right, that makes sense obviously. Why would I sit out here?_ Why were you so nervous about sitting with him?

The cockpit was small but comfortable and easily calmed your anxiety. It was nice to be back in the control center of a ship. You laid back in the copilot’s chair next to Ren, who was in the pilot’s chair. He looked so in control and relaxed as he flipped switches, powering on the engines. A familiar vibration subtly rattled the walls and through the window, you could see three transport shuttles also getting ready to take off. 

Within a few minutes, you were on your way to Vodran and an agreeable silence settled over the two of you. With Kylo so close, you felt safe, like nothing could go wrong. You looked over at him as he guided you to the planet. With him, you were _sure_ that nothing would ever go wrong.


	10. Vodran

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You take his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy late star wars day!!!

Nothing could have ever prepared you for the terrible heat on Vodran. Humidity nearly choked you as you stepped off the ship, and the already tight tank top stuck to your back with sweat. It was miserable, plain and simple, but if you thought it was bad, Kylo must have thought it was hell. There was no possible way he was surviving under the million layers of black clothing he had on, plus the helmet. He stood in front of you now to survey the wet marshland where you and the other troopers had landed. Tiny droplets of water clung to his shiny helmet, reflecting a dotty constellation of muggy light. Your boots sunk into the soft ground of the clearing bordered by tall, narrow trees. Dense brush rose to about knee height, slightly outlining the shape of a swamp just past the forest line. It was a dismal sight, really, but it most definitely felt like a place where the cartel would hide.

You were about to ask Kylo where to go when you heard a faint noise. _Snap_. A twig somewhere deeper in the woods broke. It was a slight sound, but it made the hair on the back of your neck stand up on end and a pinpointed pressure in the middle of your head begin radiating outward. You scrunched your nose in annoyance of the feeling. _We’re being_ watched. Kylo felt it, too, because he immediately began walking in the direction of the disturbance. You had no choice but to follow him, trying your best not to fall face-first into the weeds. _Maybe it’s an animal._ The small twist in your stomach told you that it wasn’t. Nonetheless, you trekked on, filled with the adrenaline that usually accompanied a promise of action. 

Once you and Ren were surrounded by trees on all sides, the feeling in your brain grew stronger. You noticed that it was as though you were more attuned to your surroundings—every branch, stalk, and rock in that forest was alive. They all emitted an energy of their own, and your mind was the receiver. It wasn’t like your vision was impaired, everything just seemed so clear. A thrill of excitement shot through your chest. Suddenly, Kylo stopped and looked back at you. 

“Do you feel it, too?” He quietly asked. 

“Yes.” You smiled. You knew now what you were sensing. _The force_. 

Incredibly and distinctly, it blossomed from everything, even Kylo, and you felt it all. What you only perceived from him gently back on the ship was magnified by a thousand. He was luminous like a bright star, and you didn’t want to look away. 

“Focus on it, Callaia,” Ren said, “What is it telling you?”

As if set off by his command, the force surged through your veins. It overtook every single one of your faculties and more; your heart and lungs were electrified by the presence. _Come on, focus_. You squeezed your eyes shut and concentrated on the buzzing feeling. In an instant, a brilliant scene became evident before you; people in brown clothes with guns and masks. There were about six of them, barely recognizable as they crouched down over themselves behind a tree. Your eyes flew open again—the cartel members were here, just beyond the swamp.

“They’re over there, not many of them.” You told him and pointed over his shoulder to a clump of trees across the water. Stormtroopers finally approached the two of you, waiting for a command. Kylo hesitated for a moment, his cowl fluttering with a short, glorious breeze, then motioned for his men to follow him. You stood for a few seconds to collect your thoughts. _Took the force long enough to let me feel it._ Never had you ever felt so powerful than with the newfound connection. You’d just received a taste, and you wanted more.

Falling in behind the first group of troopers, you marched along until you reached the swamp’s edge. Kylo tested the murky depths with one step in, followed by another. His boots made ripples cascade to the other side and disturbed a few lily pads on the surface. Seemingly satisfied with the fact that there was no creature popping up to eat him, he moved forward. The stormtroopers loyally followed, creating splashes as they walked with water up to their waists. _How are they doing that so gracefully?_ Kylo made it to the other banks and glanced back at you. _Right, right, get in the water, Callaia_. 

Cool liquid rushed into your boots to soak your feet, but it was a welcome reprieve from the onslaught of heat. You shuddered at the sensation, a strange chill arching up your spine. Kylo’s stare still lay on your skin. Putting one foot in front of the other, you ventured in up to the bottom band on your bra. _Why is everyone so tall?_ There was no current circulating around the swamp, contributing an even more eerie stillness to the whole situation. _I hope there are no dianogas in here_. Spurred by that single thought, you rushed the rest of the way up and shook out your pants like a dog. You felt very out of place among the black and white of the troopers. Ren broke his concentration on you and looked ahead to size up the threat behind the low-hanging branches. The cartel members were only thirty feet away now. 

Kylo silently reached for his lightsaber and gripped it tightly at his right side. He advanced casually, knowing that the group wouldn’t dare attempt to run from the Supreme Leader himself. You let the troopers go in front of you, after all, Ren would hardly even need their help, never mind yours. Their uniform boots crunched away, leaving you observing from the swamp banks. You could tell he had reached the cartel when their shouts became drowned out by the crackling buzz of his weapon. _So much for getting some action_. It was kind of pointless for Hux to send all of you down here just to get six people. _Whatever_. 

You were about to join the troopers when a flash of white entered your peripheral vision. Turning to look, you almost fell into the water in shock. A man not much younger than you stood firmly in the mud on the edge. He looked exhausted and ragged, a blaster clutched in his left hand. You immediately reached for your own gun and held it out to aim at his heaving chest. Stubble dusted his chin and already thinning hair clung to his forehead. 

“Drop it.” You told him in your best authoritative voice. 

“I could ask the same of you, buttercup.” He answered. The energy surrounding him was frantic, but he didn’t show it. He reminded you of the men in bars who’d creepily hit on you. 

“Funny. I asked first.” You faked a sweet tone. All at once, the force swelled inside your head. _He’s going to run_. 

He remained there for a few seconds more, then leaped into a sprint at light speed, just as the force told you. His figure began racing through the trees, not so skillfully dodging exposed roots and sinkholes. You took off after him but were painfully aware of your lack of running merit. Only a hundred yards in, your lungs screamed for air, and legs begged for rest. Nevertheless, you hurried on. 

Luck was in your favor today because as soon as you two rounded a set of bushes, he tripped. Thankfully, you came to a stop and pointed the blaster back at him.

“Who…are you?” You asked in between big breaths. His lanky frame scrambled back, connecting with the trunk of a tree. He shakily aimed his own weapon at you. 

“I am a member of the resistance. We would sooner die than have the First Order’s terroristic dictatorship rule the galaxy.” The man spat.

“It seems a little late for that, don’t you think?” There was no point in hiding the condescending tint to your quip. Instead of quivering in fear, he smiled. _What the hell?_

“No, sweetness, I think it’s a little late for you.” He rose up from his seat on the ground. When you tried to walk toward the resistance member, you realized you couldn’t. Looking down, you saw your feet submerged in thick mud. Despite your strongest pull against the sludge, it wouldn’t move. _Oh no_. 

“Don’t come any closer.” You warned, pushing your blaster a little closer for emphasis. 

“Now, I wonder what the Supreme Leader will think when he finds out I killed his little apprentice.” He cruelly mused. _This can’t be happening_. You kept trying to escape but it was no use—you were stuck. Your eyes darted around in search of anything that could help. _Okay, just listen to the force, that’s what Kylo would say_. The rushing energy in your head begged to burst out of your vessels. There was only one thing you were absolutely sure of: you were not going to die here. 

“He is not going to find out.” You managed to say through gritted teeth. A high-pitched ringing noise filled your ears like you were sitting right next to an engine blast. 

“We’ll see.” The man’s blaster was so close but just out of arm’s reach, and your knees buckled as you tried to grab his wrist. His finger closed around the trigger. Your eyes squeezed shut to feel something like you had earlier. Miraculously, the force swelled again. The familiar sound of a shot rang out deafeningly. _I’m so dead_. But you didn’t crumple to the ground with a hole in your head. _Wait, if I’m dead, how am I thinking?_

Carefully, you eased open one eye, then the other. A red laser beam hung suspended in the air only centimeters from your nose. It was frozen there like time had stopped. The resistance guy looked like he’d seen a ghost; his eyes were wide and skin was pale. _How is this happening?_ Everything around you was statically roaring with the force so fiercely that you thought your blood was boiling. 

“H-h-how…” He jutted a finger at you. “You…you’re—” Grasping at words but failing to find any, he seemed just as frozen as the blast. 

To be fair, you couldn’t squeeze out a reason for the occurrence either; both of you stood with mouths agape at the odd situation. Ever so gradually, you felt the energy of another person in the woods grow nearer. They stopped just behind your stuck position and judging by the changed look on your almost-murderer’s face, it was not any old stormtrooper.

“Lay down your blaster.” Kylo Ren’s threateningly deep voice demanded. The man did as he said right away and scurried back to the tree trunk. You again attempted to free yourself but to no avail. Ren trod over to your right shoulder and stopped to take in the whole mess. It reminded you of that time in the interrogation room when you could only feel him, not see him. His presence made you finally breathe a sigh of relief. 

Kylo raised his arm as if to touch the laser and suddenly your intense rush was gone. Instead, the red beam rocketed back to the direction of its fire, and into the brain of the resistance member. He slumped against the slender wood, a crimson stream flowing from the open wound. _Holy—_

“Did you have to run off?” Before you could even finish your mental exclamation, Kylo cut you off. 

“What was I supposed to do? He came up to me and took off into the woods!” You huffed and crossed your arms, blaster resting against your side. Ren shuffled over to stand in front of you. Being trapped in the mud, your eye level sunk to his belt, embarrassingly enough. 

“You felt it, though. It spoke to you.” He changed the subject. To relieve you of your inner turmoil, he crouched down on his knees. You nodded, wanting more than life itself to have him explain all of this to you. “Distance from the prism does you good.” Ren observed, more to himself than you.

“Did I do that? How could I…” You trailed off, eyes darting back and forth across his visor. 

“The force is strong with you.” He stared into the mud. “That is for certain. It is time for you to truly learn of your destiny.” Your heart began to beat as fast as when you were running. _My destiny?_

He held out a hand to you, the same one that had killed many and destroyed planets. It was also the one that promised to train you and find answers. He was calm, steady, and a constant that you needed in your life. You slipped your small fingers into his leather grip, the energy already reclaiming your heart.

“I could use a little help.” You said, looking at your feet. 


End file.
